Finding Your Cape – Values
Previous Posts in this series:
Finding Your Cape – Introduction
Finding Your Cape – Principles
Finding Your Cape – Meditations
In the previous post, we looked at how our principles create the frame for our perception of the world. Now we will take a short exploration of our values…
Values
Our values drive our emotions, our emotions drive how we feel, and how we feel determines our behaviour.
If we value something, we experience positive emotions when it occurs, neutral if it does not, and negative emotions if the opposite happens.
Our principles provide a foundation for our values. We value the things we do because they align with our principles.
Now I am not talking about material things we value; I am talking about behaviours.
Working out your values is pretty straightforward once you have established your principles. All you need to do is imagine someone living as an embodiment of each of your principles; for each principle, describe a few things about how a person behaves in alignment with that principle.
Here are my values, mapped to my principles:
Reflecting
To do this as an exercise, write down each of your principles as a heading. Then for each principle close your eyes and take 10 controlled deep breaths while you visualise someone living as an embodiment of that principle – write down behaviours that person is exhibiting.
Do not focus on the person, focus on the action and the intent behind what they are doing.
Repeat one cycle for each of the principles. If you have identified your values then great, if not, take 24hours away from this then repeat the next day – this gives your subconscious mind time to process the reflection and you may just be surprised at the insights that manifest next time you perform the exercise.
During the reflections don’t force it, allow the insights to simply bubble to the surface.
What is most important?
Now you have all of you values listed, it is time to work out which is most important. Select one of the values and begin by comparing it against other in the list; if you find one that is more important, then select that one and begin comparing it to others in the list. Repeat this until you find the single value that is more important than all the others.
Now repeat this exercise for the other values until you have ranked them all in a list.
Look at your top value. Why is this a value? Just because it is?
This will be your end value, the thing that you want to move towards the most. You might actually find this is true for the top two o even three values. The other values ranked lower will be means values – things that you value because they move you towards the realisation of your end values.
Why we focus the way we do
Now with your list, next to each value, write the name of the principle it was sourced from. You will now be able to see the racking of your principles too.
This serves as a view of what is most important to us and why.
Now ponder these questions:
- What does this inform you about your principles?
- Which one principle governs your perspective?
- Is it now clearer why you judge yourself and the world the way you do?
How I choose to focus
In case you were wondering, this is how my values rank:
- Skilful Living – Prioritise Increasing Vitality (End Value)
- Be Authentic – Speak Sincerely (End Value)
- Accept Responsibility – Establish Equilibrium (Means Value)
- Take Action – Be the Change (Means Value)
- Accept the Consequences – Establish Equilibrium (Means Value)
- Be Honest – Speak Sincerely (Means Value)
- Be Kind – Embody Compassion (Means Value)
- Growth – Prioritise Increasing Vitality (Means Value)
- Challenge – Prioritise Increasing Vitality (Means Value)
- Gratitude – Prioritise Increasing Vitality (Means Value)
- Be Decisive – Be the Change (Means Value)
- Be Realistic – Establish Equilibrium (Means Value)
- Be Vulnerable – Speak Sincerely (Means Value)
- Be Understanding – Embody Compassion (Means Value)
Getting it Right
Remember earlier we explored what virtue is?
To be virtuous, all you need to do is behave in alignment with your values.
The hard bit here is making sure you have principles and values and align with the authentic you.
What is next?
Next, we will move on to take a look at Superpowers – the core of this tool. Before you are ready to apply that insight though I would recommend you first need to establish the strong base of knowing your principles and values – as such I would recommend circling though this and the previous two posts in this series performing the meditations until you feel ready to progress.
Done is better then perfect though, so don’t over think it.
You will simply “feel” when you have arrived at the principles and values that resonate with you. Think about it like carrying a glass of water around…as you are carrying it, the water will be sloshing around and there will be ripples on the surface, when you set it down the water will become still… this is the sensation you will have internally when you discover your authentic principles and values.
Enjoy, for now.