Use of Language – Colour and Rhythm
Previous Posts in this series:
Use of Language – Introduction
Introduction
So now we have identified that the way we use language is a form of behavior, and our behavior is made up of habits and patterns, lets now explore some perspectives to develop your awareness of what is going on…
Your Colour Pallet
In the introduction to this tool, we looked at how words and language are essentially labels for things with agreed definitions. When forming our perception of reality, we train our brains to use words to define what we are experiencing. This is not the only way we can form our perception, but it is the default way practiced in westernized society.
Our perception is formed within milliseconds of input manifesting in the external world. This process while rapid, if extremely complex and is not yet fully understood by the scientific community – this is the space where consciousness plays. What we do understand though is the influence that language can have on this process.
Think of a fresh paint by numbers picture.
While forming the picture, we use our inner dictionary to label each of the shapes and then to colour them in. This means that the situational variability and fidelity of our perception is ultimately constrained by the dictionary we have available.
Imagine simply describing things as good or bad… this is like forming a perception of large blocks in black and white; I’ll let you decide which colour is which!
The better our grasp of language and the broader our vocabulary, the more we are able to perceive and engage in the subtleties of life.
How do we broaden our vocabulary? Read books, listen to books, and search out new life experiences. Taking on information is a way to develop an awareness of new words (labels) and their meaning, but it is only through lived experience that we will understand their meanings fully and then have the confidence to use them when forming our perception.
Black and white, 720p, UHD or 8k… you decide 😊
The Rhythm of the Dance
How we say what we say has as much influence over its meaning as the words we are choosing – it is the combination of both that give the meaning of what we are actually saying.
Pace and tonality or the speed and pitch of our speech are two aspects to consider when developing an awareness of our own language patterns.
Let’s do a little exercise; consider yourself in different emotional states and observe how you are speaking. You may want to write down your thoughts as you complete this exercise.
Questions to consider:
- Am I speaking fast or slow?
- Am I speaking loudly our quietly?
- Am I inflecting my words up or down at the end?
- What words am I using?
- Does it sound like I am in control of what I am saying?
Armed with the questions, now let’s spend a short amount of time analysing some different situations. For each emotional state, I want you to picture in your mind a recent event where you experienced this emotion. Put yourself fully back in that situation in your mind. Then when you are fully emersed, step outside of yourself and observe, imagine you are in the cinema, watching the scene play out like a movie. Ponder the questions above and make your notes.
Here are the emotional states to consider:
- Being angry with someone or about something
- Being fearful or apprehensive
- Being curious about something – asking questions and learning
- Being confident while explaining something
- Being excited and playful – having fun
Now you have completed the exercise consider this: did what you said matter more or less than how you said it? If you mixed up the what and how between the different states, what would you actually be saying?
For me personally, I find the how matters much more than the what. How we talk conveys the real meaning in communication and is the basis of what the other person will really understand as a result of our engagement.
This is an extremely complex subject and one we could explore in great detail. If you would like to explore this further, I would recommend researching resources around NLP and CBT. There are some great resources available online.
The key point for this tool is to develop an awareness of the fact that how we say what we say is equally as important as the words that we choose to say – the how creates the meaning.
Spend some time pondering how this insight has changed your awareness of the patterns in your own internal dialogue and how you could start of make adjustments to affect a positive change in your life. Could you be curious when you are angry? Could you be confident or playful when you are fearful?
I’ll let you decide 😊
What’s Next?
So far we have looked at general principles around the use of language, next we will deep dive in to how specific words can have a profound effect on our communication.
Enjoy, for now.