Rewriting the Script – Benefits and Practical Applications
This is the final post in the rewriting the script series. You can find the whole series of posts here:
Rewriting the Script – Understanding Scripts
Rewriting the Script – Breaking the Script (Part 1)
Rewriting the Script – Breaking the Script (Part 2)
The Truth
Rewriting your scripts is all about seeing the truth of your thoughts and actions by developing deeper self-awareness. Most people do not realise that scripts and ego states even exist. Now you know about it, you can choose to become aware, get curious and even fascinated.
Every person’s child and parent ego states and scripts are unique to them, but we do all share some similar behaviour traits as a result of them.
Increasing your awareness of yourself, your emotional choices, your scripts, and your resultant behaviours will help you to spot the signs in other people too; this insight will help you to communicate more effectively in social situations so you can work toward achieving optimal outcomes for all.
Developing meaningful relationships becomes much easier when you can work out how best to talk to people.
Flourishing Relationships
If we approach social interactions in a state of I, we are ready to listen to and empathise with the other person; we can effectively evaluate if they are also operating as I or if they are talking to us though one of their ego states.
When we are I, we can choose to make the conscious switch, if required, to an alternate ego state where we can access all of our insights and experiences that will help us connect with the other person. You see, Ego states are not a bad thing, they contain all the different facets of our personality. Being in script is only a problem if you are not aware it is happening.
For example, we initially develop empathy though using among other things active listening, we can only do this when we are present and focussed and being I. Through our active listening, as the other person opens up, this will lead to them adopting a state of free child.
When appropriate, we can then allow ourselves to call upon our nurturing parent to act with compassion. See the understanding scripts post to learn more about this.
In order to do this, we need to develop an awareness of what emotional triggers may lead us to slip out of I and in to an Ego state and we also need to have a tool that helps us rapidly move in to I so that we can recentre ourselves before and during our engagements. The time check tool is specifically the one for the job.
Conclusion
Scripts become a problem when they are out dated or reinforce limiting beliefs that we have about ourselves. The spell of “me” that are foreman whispers is one of the hooks than can make us grab hold of our emotions and fall in to script. As outlined in the I and Me tool, we can learn to simply observe our foreman and not engage. We void the script by preventing the trigger being pulled.
Rewriting and voiding our scripts are both sound approaches. You need to pick the one that is right for you and the script in question.
I know it sounds like a lot of work but have faith in yourself; the first step of simply becoming aware of what some of your scripts are, is enough to start to make a difference in your life.
Once the first step is taken, you will start to build momentum and move forwards quicker. Take one step at a time and keep focussed on the present moment.
Grab the torch of your curiosity and shine the light in to your inner world.
All that is touched by the light is your kingdom.
Enjoy, for now.