This is the second post in the Be the Change series…
Taking Responsibility for Change
Taking responsibility, means acknowledging the relationship between the choices we make and our life situation. Once you realise that the power of choice is yours, by implication, you accept responsibility for the outcome of your life.
If you are responsible for the choice, you are also responsible for the outcome.
There are certain things we cannot choose: yes, we get dealt a hand when we are born. Yes, we cannot choose where on Earth we are born. Yes, we cannot choose our parents. Yes, we cannot choose our genetics.
If something was not a choice, then accept it.
As it is.
It would not be wise to blame yourself for what you cannot choose. And wishing for things to be different is simply choosing to focus on what is not, rather than what is. If you choose to focus on what is not, you are choosing to hold on to it as a crutch or an excuse. Choosing to focus on a negative perception of the situation. Choosing to put rocks in your backpack.
Even if something was not your choice, you always have the choice of how you feel about it.
Accept the reality of what you can’t change and accept the responsibility for what you can.
In the previous post – Childhood Imagination, we looked at how we all need to nurture our inner child. Our inner child is a pure and honest part of us. Our relationship with our inner child is our responsibility.
Honesty
I have chosen to learn to be honest with myself about what is a choice and what is not a choice. In doing this I have found that it is far too easy to lie to yourself in the same way that you may be inclined to lie to others to protect your self-image. Coming up with excuses to deflect responsibility… the victim mindset!
This is a trick of the ego. A trick that we will explore much further in future posts.
For now, let’s just say that you need to be honest with yourself before you can be honest with anyone else. Your relationship with yourself is the foundation for all the other relationships you have in life.
Your Torch
Use your torch of honesty to be curious. Curious about the drivers behind your actions, thoughts and feelings. Simply keep asking yourself “but why?” until you reach the root.
The root is the precise moment, based upon some information you received, you made the choice to take a particular action; either to think a particular way, or to physically do something.
- Who provided the information?
- Was it what someone else said or did?
- Was it an assumption that you made up in your own mind? More ego talk!
- Who actually made the choice?
Be honest with yourself; and remember: Deciding not to take any action is a choice too!
Putting aside actual physical torture; nobody else can really make you do or not do something, or make you feel bad about yourself; it is your choice how you respond to their words and behaviour.
The act of blaming stems from either refusing to accept what is, or, refusing to accept your responsibility for the choices that you have made. To be truly responsible, you must learn to accept both the credit and blame for your choices.
Making choices is a constant theme throughout the The Mountain Pathway framework. Choice unlocks decisions which unlocks action.
You have the power of choice right now. You just need to realise it.
Here and Now
The act of choosing is performed in the present moment. Not the past, not the future.
Past choices have been made; you must accept the outcomes. Future opportunities and choices will be influenced by the choices that you make in the present moment.
In order to unlock the power of choice you must first learn to live in the present moment. You must choose to learn to become conscious.
Consciousness is simple.
- Focus all of your attention on the present moment – Attentive presence
- Identify the truth of your life situation by being honest with yourself – Clarity
- Learn to observe and not embody your emotions – Calmness
It may be simple but it is by no means easy. We knew how to do it when we were born, we just need to relearn the skill.
Simple, but not simplistic
Often honesty is hardest part. The truth can hurt and humans have developed many complex and multi-layered strategies for hiding from it. Being honest is a skill – the more you practice it, the better you become at it, and the easier it is.
Only you know when you are being honest. It is easy to tell, you will feel lighter and your energy will flow more freely when you are being honest.
Developing a conscious mindset will clear the canvas of your mind to allow you to see clearly the choices that you have in front of you. It will allow you to accept your responsibility. Having a sense of responsibility will empower you with the motivation to:
- Define short, medium, and long-term goals for your life
- Develop the ability to listen to your gut instinct (intuition) to make the right choices
- Understand your psyche so that you can devise appropriate strategies to help you:
- Plan effectively
- Prioritise
- Execute tasks with focus and be discipline
Curiosity enables you to analyse. Analysis will allow you to understand responsibilities. Responsibility will give you the motivation and focus to take action.
“Once we realise that everything is a choice,
and that we have the power to make that choice,
we can then accept full responsibility
for our own lives and the world we create.
-Ramsey Bond
Enjoy, for now.