The Moth and the Flame
I originally wrote this post 2 weeks after starting a new job; I am now five months in to the role and it has been interesting looking back at this…
The Moth
In lots of previous posts, especially the prioritise increasing vitality series; I have talked quite extensively about the benefits of projecting your own positive energy out in to the world.
I still standby this sentiment and recommend the approach to living to all other humans.
It is worth being aware though; this strategy does come with some risk.
Since starting my new job, both in work and outside work, I have been applying myself with honesty and authenticity; allowing myself to be vulnerable and projecting my positive energy in to situations.
I have however hit a couple of little, you could say, roadblocks.
The Flame
Without giving too much detail of specific people and places away I will attempt to give you a summary of what I have experienced.
Most Mondays, I attend a talking group for men. It is designed for people to get things off their chest and to talk openly and freely. I am part of this group because it does genuinely feel good to talk openly and honestly, and the set of lads there are really supportive to each other.
While opening up and talking about where I thought I would be in six months, a chap that has only been going for a couple of weeks (after a long stint in the past), made a couple of snidey comments directly to me. Along the lines of “You should be so lucky…”
Now, I was not expecting negativity to be projected towards me while I was making positive affirmations about the future. I gave quite a short, ego driven response to him… “Well, it is a good job I am determined then.”
Normally I would just brush this kind of thing off and not be bothered at all. It does take great strength to be vulnerable and I am a pretty strong guy. However, I was facing a second road block that amplified this one…
New Challenges
In other news, I have started a new job.
After spending 9 months doing my own thing, starting my blog, studying and keeping fit… I decided it was time to get back to earning some pennies.
Just like when I was writing my book and blog, when I am working, I like to build forwards momentum and feel success every day. The new company I am working for is much larger than my previous company and being only two weeks in to the role, I am still getting to know people and how everything works.
Withstanding this, I am not quite as busy as I would like to be, and I have found during a few of my introduction calls that the positive energy I have been projecting has not been reciprocated.
The combination of both of these events have left me feeling a bit down, a bit flat and a bit low energy. This is the consequence of projecting yourself with authentic honesty when the universe does not immediately reciprocate.
I have been projecting myself forwards with positive energy so long now that it is quite simply just how I live. Like a moth being instinctually drawn to a flame, sometimes you are going to get burnt.
Perspective
I wrote this post on a Wednesday morning. Two days after that chap, to be blunt, chatted some shit to me, and literally the day of my two-week anniversary at my new job.
I had only been flat for two days, but based on my recent experience, this was quite a long time for me. 2 hours is/was more like the going rate!
The morning of writing this post, I looked at how I was feeling and accepted responsibility for the choices that I had made.
I chose to be vulnerable and to project myself with honesty. I chose to put my energy in to my engagements with other humans.
I did not choose how they responded, but I did choose how I responded to their response.
My Decisions
Play
I am going to have a word directly with that chap during the next event I am going to quite plainly say that negativity and snidey comments are not welcome in the group. (He has not been back since!).
Thinking more about this chap’s behaviour; this may be a simple case of insecurity on both our parts. My positive projection creating a feeling of insecurity in him which caused his ego to feel threated and lash out, then my ego driven response because I felt threatened which was followed by my insecurity and self-doubt bubbling up… Either way, I am aware of it now so I be conscious of my chosen response in the future.
Work
I am going to try a little less hard at work. Yes, I am not as busy as I want to be and it does appear that everything moves glacially slow. It is early days though and it takes time for change to happen.
I will pull back a little bit and make sure that I maintain equilibrium of energy distribution across all the channels of my life.
I will move forwards with positivity and commitment to let things unfold freely.
And if in 6 months’ time I and not happy, I reserve the right to exercise my power of choice.
The Take Home
Yin and Yang, sweet and sour, dark and light…. There are two sides to every coin and it is easy to forget this fact…
Life is about learning and I have learnt something new about myself today… when we are expending lots of energy, it is all too easy to get sucked in to what is in front of you and lose perspective of the whole.
Always keep yourself centred and make sure you are staying afloat.
A few Months On…
I intentionally wrote this post and kept hold for a while before publishing. A bit like taking a snapshot of feelings as a baseline to review later.
Well, I am still applying the decisions that I made at the time of writing this post and they are still working for me. My energy is quite harmoniously balanced across work, play and family life. I am not taking anything too seriously, but I am taking the important things seriously enough.
Learning every day and growing one step at a time.
If nothing else, I could recommend that you take some time to write down how you are feeling. Make some decisions about what you are going to change, write that down too, then review it in a few months’ time to see if it still rings true.
You might just surprise yourself, and in doing so, provide yourself with evidence that change is really possible.
Enjoy, for now.
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