A Shoulder to Lean On

A Shoulder to Lean On

In life, there is no shame in asking for help or seeking support from other humans. The reason for humanity’s success is our ability to collaborate with and support each other to collectively achieve extraordinary things.

What we fail to realise though is that the help we personally need can often be found right at home.


Imagine that a friend has come to you for help and support. They want to open up to you and work though something. Now in this situation you could just attentively listen to what they are saying, or if it becomes appropriate, you could offer some kind words of advice.

Now imagine the boot is on the other foot. You need some support and help…

I put it to you that the support you are looking for can be found from within. Instead of searching out for someone external to engage with, first try engaging with yourself.

Imagine that you are indeed that friend coming to you with the very problem you want to resolve. It is not your problem; it is their problem. With this new perspective on the issue, what would you say to your friend? What would your friend say to you as you attentively listen to their problem?

You might be surprised about how your friend feels after this imaginary interaction with you…


When seeking advice from external sources, we are often just seeking validation that what we really know deep down inside is the right course of action. We need this validation either because we do not believe in our ability to solve our own challenges, or because we are afraid to accept the hard truth that the solution to a challenge may require some short-term pain before we can overcome it.

Fundamentally, these are the same drivers for seeking help though. A lack of self-belief.

Now, I am not saying that we will never need any form of help and we can all be 100% self-reliant, but what I am suggesting is that within each one of use lies a great untapped potential that we merely scratch the surface of.

I started this post by mentioning collaboration as one of the reasons for the success of humanity; other key factors are our adaptability, intelligence, and ingenuity.

If you are reading this, it means you are human, just like me, so if I have all of these traits in me, you surely must have them too.

The only kind of belief we need in this life

is in ourselves.

– Ramsey Bond

Enjoy, for now.

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